29 Easy Ways To Make Yourself More Appealing to the Opposite Sex

by Isabella Murphy




Maybe you weren’t lucky enough to be born with genes like Brad or Angelina, or maybe you’re just too busy to put much time into finding your soul mate. That doesn’t mean you can’t still meet someone nice!


Couple kissing in red room

Photo by knivesout

Here are 29 great quick and easy ways to make yourself more appealing to the opposite sex, even if you’re more Tom Arnold than Tom Cruise. Best of all, they won’t take much time out of your busy schedule.

1. Be Confident! Confident people are like catnip to singles looking for that special someone. If you’re comfortable with yourself, other people will be attracted to you. Many singles are looking for clues to gauge their compatibility with you, and quickest way to do that is to examine the signals you give off. Being confident goes a long way!

2. Be Real! Worried you won’t be able to hold a candle to that guy or girl from one of those dating reality TV shows? Don’t worry! Rarely do you hear someone gush that they found their perfect match based on “rippling muscles” or a “perfect white smile”. Relax—there are still plenty of people who are waiting to meet someone just like you!

3. Be Clean! When it comes to appealing to the opposite sex, it’s not all about the clothes you wear or the money you make—sometimes it’s about keeping your body clean. Let’s face it – someone in a nice suit with body odor is not appealing when placed next to that sweet-smelling guy or girl in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Good hygiene is critical at all stages of dating; no one wants to be near someone who smells bad!

Good hygiene and appearance is about more than just odor, though. How your clothes look is important too! Impress potential love interests by keeping holes and stains to a minimum (and it doesn’t hurt to break out the iron once in a while, either).

4. Be Cool, Calm, and Collected! It’s a scene you’re all too familiar with—the rude guy in line at the bank, the lady in front of you at the grocery store arguing with the cashier, the couple in the restaurant yelling at the at the server—one of the best ways to be more appealing in the dating scene is to simply keep a cool head.

Rudeness is never sexy—before losing your temper, try stepping back and looking at things from the other person’s perspective—most confrontations are due to a lack of communication or a misunderstanding of what’s been said.

When others see you as an even-tempered person, don’t be surprised if you get a lot more invites—cool, calm, and collected is definitely in, but anger, “road rage”, and loud confrontations in public are out!


Couple kissing in red room

Photo by justtohottotouch

5. Be Punctual! Meeting someone new is exciting, but so many people spoil a good date by showing up late, or worse—showing up late without alerting the other party that you’re running a little behind!

When you tell someone you’ll show up at a certain time, keep your word and show up when you’re scheduled to, if not a little earlier. You’ll be perceived as a considerate and reliable person who can keep their word, which naturally does great things for your appeal in the eyes of the opposite sex!

6. Be Conversant! Education isn’t just classrooms and textbooks; it’s the sum of our life experiences too. Increase your appeal by paying attention to world events—that way when everyone’s talking about the Fannie Mac crash, you don’t blurt out, “Oh, is your friend Fannie going to be OK? Did she fall really hard?” While that may earn you a few chuckles, not being well-informed is rarely attractive.

7. Be Funny! Having a great sense of humor can be a magnet that attracts just about anyone—especially in the dating scene. A man or a woman with a great sense of humor can diffuse any situation, which puts nervous and tense singles at ease. Needless to say, when potential partners feel relaxed and happy this opens up plenty of opportunities in dating. Not harboring the spirit of Jay Leno? Try memorizing jokes, or paying close attention to the friend that leaves you in stitches and their best material – you’ll learn a ton about what works!

8. Be Polite! Who doesn’t like a person who says please and thank you? OK, there might be a secret club of anti-thanks fanatics hiding out there somewhere, but for 99.99% of the dating public, people who remember to spice their words with a good round of “please”, “thank you”, and a dash of “you’re welcome” for good measure are a welcome commodity.

9. Be Flirtatious! In the hyper-connected triple-shot espresso world we live in, it’s more than OK to be a little flirty. In fact, receiving attention from a flirty stranger is often how we first realize someone is interested. Increase your “wow” factor by letting your fun side out—make eye contact, tell a joke that might not be quite work safe, and be sure to pick up on the physical here: if the target of your attention looks great, say so!

10. Be Tasteful! Don’t let your flirtatiousness get out of hand. Many singles mark a bad encounter by how rapidly things go downhill—and watching harmless flirting spiral into something gross or uncomfortable would definitely be a bad encounter for most people!

To maximize your appeal, tread carefully with your flirtation – leave a few things to the imagination. Your advances should resemble a good newspaper article—long enough to indicate interest, but short enough to still be interesting (and not scare off the object of your attention!).

11. Be Mindful of Your Personal Info! MySpace and Google can either be your best friend, or your worst enemy. As we move about online, we share information about our lives that is more public than we may imagine. Forums, message boards, mailing lists are publicly archived, and even Plurk and Twitter are indexed by Google. So a potential love match who types your name into Google may find out more about you than you bargained for.

Using a pseudonym isn’t even 100% protection anymore, especially if you use that handle in real life as well! Increase your appeal to the opposite sex by being your own PR team—keep private things private, and be aware that public information truly is “public” in a digital world. Don’t say anything you might regret if someone were to “Google” you!


Couple kissing

Photo by ValetheKid

12. Let Go of Your Ex! What do good exes and bad exes have in common? Both take up too much space in our minds! If we have good exes, then we focus on all the good moments we have without realizing that memories are often different from fact – and sometimes we bury things we don’t want to recall. If we have bad exes, then we focus on every negative thing they ever did – without leaving any room for any potential partner to occupy our mental space.

Boost your appeal in the eyes of interested singles by letting go of your exes, good and bad. They’re just clogging up space in your head, and if anyone’s going to take up space in your head rent-free, why not the person of your dreams?

13. Ask Good Questions! Let’s say you’ve been taking these tips to heart and have gotten a date. Don’t blow the awesome potential for a great time by talking only about yourself! Show that guy or gal that you truly are listening to what they have to say by asking them questions about items they’ve brought up, as well as about their lives in general. While it may seem like “small talk” to some, it’s a great way to show you care about more than just your own world.

14. Be Wary of the Green Eyed Monster! Jealousy can crush even the strongest of relationships – don’t let the tender shoots of your attraction be trampled by it. Remember that as a potential partner, your focus should be on how you complement the other person’s life, not take it over completely. Understand that the other person needs their time with friends and family just as much as you do, and the active search for others isn’t a strike against you. It’s just another facet of human nature you will have to deal with in order to remain attractive in their eyes.

15. Give Space and Resist Stalking! New relationships bring a lot of positive energy into our lives, but knowing when to back off and give space is one of the most attractive qualities we can have, as well as the most overlooked. Learn to give others their space – if they want to get in touch with you, they will call or e-mail you. Avoid randomly showing up at their house or at work – it makes new partners feel very uneasy. Don’t violate their space!

16. Be Open to New Ideas! Interested singles love finding potential love matches that are willing to try new things, whether it’s that hip new restaurant downtown or reactivating all that Spanish you learned in high school for a trip to Panama. Keeping life fresh and vibrant isn’t only appealing to the opposite sex, it’s also fun for you as well – life is too short to do the same things over and over again! Spice it up, and you’ll find your love life getting spicier by the minute. Unsure what to try next? Check out 43things.com, where you’ll find a cluster of lists of things people want to do and goals they want to reach. That site will give you all the inspiration you need to go out there and see everything this great world has to offer!

17. Be Supportive! If you found that perfect match, congrats! Want a quick secret to keeping them around for the long haul? Support them, even when it comes to the “dream stuff” they want to do or goals they want to achieve, such as going back to school or completely changing careers. Showing your partner that you care about them is absolutely appealing, and when times get tough, your continued support will be one of things that make all the difference.

18. Be Good To Your Parents! As odd as it may seem, in the age of computers, we’re all looking for a real human connection – and nothing is more “real” than family. For better or worse, you only get one family, so make sure to take care of them even as you hunt for that special someone. When you find that person to date, how you treat good old Mom and Dad can make or break the relationship. It is highly unappealing to be with someone who argues continuously with their parents and relatives, so make the most out of your “dateability” by keeping the goodwill high with your folks back home. When the time comes to bring home that perfect match, it’ll go over so much smoother to have your family welcome you with open arms instead of cold silence.

19. Be a Steward to the Environment! Rising gas prices, melting polar ice caps, and global warming have all raised concerns in our society about the status of our changing world – it should be no surprise that singles on the lookout for the right partner are becoming more environmentally conscious as well. Boost your appeal – as well as your “green cred” – to these singles by making small green changes in your life as well. If you haven’t started recycling, now would be a great time to do so, and if you’re still using those old school light bulbs, switch out 2 here or there for the new compact fluorescent ones. Not only will you look good in the eyes of all those potential love matches out there, but you’ll be taking better care of the planet we all call home. Since we only have one, you better start “going green” regardless of your dating habits!


Couple kissing

Photo by b-leam

20. Be Careful of Bad Habits! If you’re a smoker or drinker, that isn’t necessarily an evil thing, but there’s no getting around it: many singles prefer nonsmokers and light or social drinkers. The days of smoking like a chimney and/or drinking like a fish are long gone – today’s singles are looking for people who live cleaner lifestyles. Increase your appeal to these people by making the steps to quit and maintain a smoke-free life if you’re a smoker, and if you’re known on a first-name basis down at the local bar, try cutting back how many nights you’re seen tossing back a few. Not only will your body thank you for these small changes, but your wallet will too! With all the lovely and interested singles you’ll meet, you’ll be thankful for that extra pocket change!

21. Be Ready to Take Risks! If walking on a tightrope comes to mind when you think of the word “risk”, you can rest easy – that’s not the type of risk we’re talking about. Interested singles today want partners that are ready and willing to take calculated risks – like starting a new business with investor capital or taking on a new project at work. Taking on challenges that you might not be 100% ready for shows that you’re willing and able to roll with the punches of life, rather than needing to have everything perfectly planned and scheduled. Learning to take smart risks and weigh your real odds goes a long way in other places besides the boardroom – members of the opposite sex looking to date you will be pleased when they find out about your new skills!

22. Be Able To Make Mistakes! Just as it’s appealing to the opposite sex to see that you can take risks, it is also appealing to see that you can handle making mistakes. If you can handle your own mistakes with grace, chances are you will be able to handle the mistakes of others – including that special someone – with grace and understanding. Don’t be afraid to admit where you’ve come up short – those that try hard to cover up mistakes will find that the harder they try to cover them up, the more likely those mistakes will appear bigger than what they are. No one is perfect, so shooting for perfection is a dead end street.

23. Be Honorable! In order to be at your most appealing to interested singles, you should strive to be honorable in every aspect of you life – even when no one’s watching. The singles of today want to know that they can count on you, rely on you, and take your words at face value. Being honorable means doing the right thing to the best of your ability, even when you see “shortcuts” or “cheats” you could take to do something easier but at the cost of hurting someone else or damaging something else.

24. Be Kind to Children! Whether or not you’re ready to start a family, interested singles want to find partners who are kind to children. In the most literal sense, children truly are our future and taking care to watch over them isn’t just appealing to the opposite sex – it’s downright sexy! Caring for children doesn’t mean you have to turn your house into a shelter for every orphan in the neighborhood – it can be something as simple as returning a ball to the kids playing out in the yard, or driving a little slower when children are at play. Even for interested singles not actively looking to raise a family, having concern for children shows that if necessary, you can be a strong protector.


Couple kissing

Photo by Jokin BCN

25. Be Good To Your Friends! Interested singles want to make sure you don’t live in a vacuum – the worst mistake you can make is to shut out all of your friends for that special someone that comes into your life. Show your friends that you care about them even when someone new comes along. In fact, double your appeal to the opposite sex by finding ways to include your friends and your new partner in everyday life. (Hint: game night.) Nothing like a friendly competitive night of Monopoly with your good friends and a special someone to get the ball rolling!

26. Be a Listener Instead of a “Hearer”! Do you really listen to what’s being said or is it just “noise”? Don’t worry – even the most attentive can sometimes fail to truly listen to everything that’s being said. Interested singles like to know that you are truly listening to what they have to say, so don’t hesitate to do just that – listen! To make them really realize you’re into them, give them your full undivided attention when you can – stop typing on the computer or watching TV. Eye contact goes a long way to showing interested singles that you’re a listener instead of just a “hearer”!

27. Be Able to Be Heard! Opinions are like something else everyone has… OK, you know the old line. What’s not old is giving a real opinion that’s uniquely yours. Standing up for what you believe in is appealing to the opposite sex because the world would be a boring place if we all agreed with each other! If you’re shy, try “testing” your opinion out on your friends – including defending it without being rude – before talking about something controversial with that special someone.

28. Have Hobbies! Having passion is great – now follow it up with a great hobby for a real winning combo! There are so many hobbies to choose from – anything from skydiving to chess. Within each group lurk interested singles that will be more attracted to you once they realize you share their passion for a particular hobby, like the couples who scuba or rock climb together. Even if your hobby is a little tame – after all, it’s fair to say that collecting stamps doesn’t really raise the heart rate like jumping out of a plane 15,000 feet in the air – there’s still plenty of interested singles that share those interests!

29. Be On a Journey of Constant Improvement! No one is perfect, and even though school may be years behind you, that doesn’t mean your education is behind you. Once you finish formal education you’re thrown back into the world of personal education – that is to say the education on how to be a better human overall.

Show interested singles that you are always looking to improve and you’ll find more people attracted to you. Showing that you realize that you have areas to work on signals to singles on the hunt for a great partner that you’re a person that they can grow with and get better with age – and what can be better than that?

Feeling like we’ve missed that finishing tip that would mark #30? Well, we would have included it, but if you’re reading this, chances are you’re well familiar with #30, and that’s to be YOU! After all, when it comes to the subject of great, wonderful you, who else would be a better tour guide and all around subject-matter-expert? You, of course!

We hope you’ll take these 29 tips to heart in your quest to make yourself more appealing to the opposite sex! For now, take care of your loved ones, and never give up hope! If you follow these tips, you’ll definitely realize very quickly that there’s someone out there for everyone – including you!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

December October 8, 2008 at 6:23 pm

WOW, Great list! I thought it was going to be too long, but I was hooked once I started reading. Thanks!

admin October 10, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Hey December,

I’m glad you liked it. You’ve got a pretty cool blog :)

Akolyte01 September 3, 2009 at 9:06 pm

Yay for having all of them to a reasonable except for number one.

And being completely screwed regardless.

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