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The Ultimate Guide to Flirting: 39 Awesome Flirting Tutorials and Resources


Dangerous Mistakes You Probably Make With Women

Flirting’s not just for the bars and nightclubs. There can be dozens of chances every day to meet and connect with interesting people — at work, while picking up your morning coffee, at the news stand or bookstore, at the supermarket, or even on the subway.

If you know what to say and how to send and interpet those crucial physical signals that say “I’m interested”, your chances of making a connection with the object of your desire skyrockets.

So to help get you started on building your flirting skills, we went ahead and scoured the web to bring you the very best in the art of flirtation. Hope you enjoy it!

General Flirting Guides

  1. The Science of Romance: Why We Flirt — Time magazine details the “contact-readiness” cues, those physical cues that indicate that you’re prepared for physical engagement. A great guide to the psychology and biology behind flirting.
  2. BBC: Flirting and body language — The BBC lays out the golden rules of body language for flirting, and the five secret sexual signals that let you know someone is flirting with you. Believe it or not, the way you walk and stand is more than 80 per cent of a person’s first impression of you!
  3. The SIRC Guide to flirting — One of the most detailed and frequently-reference guides to understanding the art of flirting available anywhere online. A truly great read, but make sure you’ve got at least an hour set aside first – there’s a lot of advice here.
  4. How to Flirt – The Mahalo Guide — One of the better Mahalo guides we’ve seen, covering in detail the top flirting do’s and don’ts. Flirting don’t #2: Don’t act like a stalker.
  5. How to Flirt – The wikiHowGuide — Similar to the Mahalo guide (even uses some of the same photos), but contains lots of unique and valuable content that makes it a very worthwhile read.
  6. When Is Flirting a Good Thing? — Susie and Otto Collins explore when flirting is harmful and when it’s healthy. We all know flirting is fun, but don’t let it get out of control.

  7. How to Flirt: Flirting Tips Help You Show Interest — A quick checklist of many of the body signals you can use to express interest, and how to recognize when someone is exhibiting those same signals in response to you.
  8. How to Chat Someone Up — The BBC’s guide to approaching people and starting conversations. Apparently it’s all about creating opportunities where you can subtly talk to someone without it seeming like you’re hitting on them!

Flirting Guides For Girls

  1. Flirting Tips for Girls – How to Flirt — CosmoGirl’s guide to flirting. There are ways to catch a guy’s eye without losing your cool. This article shows you why the key is to do small things that leave a big impression.
  2. Flirting Moves No Man Can Resist — Cosmo has crafted the ultimate bag-him bible with this excellent article for women, with maneuvers that will make him feel like a man while putting you in control.
  3. A Top to Bottom Guide to Flirting — A nice overview of the most effective female flirting strategies from the book “Superflirt”, detailing moves like “The Butt” and “The Banana Prop”.
  4. The Flirting Guide from nzgirl — Great guide from the classic site about love and relationships for girls, with tips that’ll soon have you batting your eyelashes up there with the best of them.
  5. How to Flirt with a Guy – The wikiHow Guide — wikiHow delivers a comprehensive set of rules for maximizing your flirting skills with that guy you’ve got your eye on.
  6. Saying no, the right way — This guide to saying no, politely but firmly, will show you how to turn down a guy who’s flirting with you.
  7. An Idiot’s Guide to Flirting — A little bit silly, but actually a pretty good guide to attracting a man through subtle flirting.
  8. Flirting Tips for Lesbians — Great flirting advice for the girl who likes to flirt with other girls. Flirting can be subtle or overt. This author prefers the subtle kind.

  9. An Illustrated Guide to Flirting After 40 — Flirting’s not just for college kids. This guide shows you how flirting after 40 can be a heck of a lot of fun, although some of the tips here seem a bit bold (texting a stranger that you’re ovulating?)
  10. Learn To Flirt Like A Pro — Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips: The Sexy Art of Flirtation, teaches you what works when flirting with a man (and how to know when it’s gone too far).

Flirting Guides For Guys

  1. Top 10 Signs She’s Flirting — Flirting with a girl is a whole lot easier when you know she’s flirting back. This guide from AskMen.com shows you the signs to recognize so you know for sure.
  2. A Guide to Flirting and Dating — A comprehensive and realistic approach to succeeding when flirting with women, including how to keep your flirting from drifting over into harassment.
  3. Jerry Talley’s Guide to Flirting — A fun and interactive guide to picking up girls. We like to think of it as the Choose Your Own Adventure guide to flirting.
  4. The Top 10 Ways To Communicate Sexually — David DeAngleo, author or the highly recommended Double Your Dating ebook, shows you how to put out a vibe that makes you irresistible to women.
  5. Is She Attracted to Me? — Dating expert David Wygant offers up some great tips on how to gauge a woman’s interest by getting her to follow your body language.
  6. Scoring a German: Flirting with Fräuleins — A very detailed guide on how to flirt with German women. Most of the advice should apply to just about any nationality, although the Germans prefer to be a bit less forward than us Yanks.
  7. Signs she’s interested — When you’re flirting with a girl, how do you know she’s interested? This guide from AskMen.com shows you the signs, and if a lot of these signals are coming your way, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll score a date this weekend.
  8. The Top 5 Social Skills You Need to Succeed with Women — This article can come off a bit cocky, but actually lays out some great tips on developing the social skills that will boost your ability to attract women.
  9. Common Flirting Mistakes — A great guide from AskMen.com on how not to blow it when flirting with women. Remember, a friendly punch in the arm is not sexy…
  10. How Women Flirt — Women are much more subtle about flirting than men, so the physical clues aren’t always obvious. MyBrotha.com shows you how to recognize when she’s interested.
  11. How To Flirt With Women In Bars — Flirting in bars can be trickier than you think. Here’s how to advance through the three stages of flirting and not blow it.
  12. How To Carry On An Amazing Conversation — David Wygant shows you how to create presence and awareness so you can take your conversation skills to the next level.
  13. The Gentleman’s Guide to Flirting — Tasteful flirting from a British perspective. Great tip: Don’t let yourself become that reliable, steady, dependable person who she would never think of in a sexual way. If you find yourself in this situation ‘you’re basically Ducky from Pretty in Pink’, so watch out.

Books on How to Flirt

  1. How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting — This book will show you how to bring out that fun, flirtatious person buried deep inside you, the one that’s anxious to get out.
  2. Double Your Dating — Written primarily for men looking to build their flirting skills with women, this book is the ultimate guide for men who want to attract more women. Especially useful tips on how to use “secret” body language to keep a woman’s attention.
  3. Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship, and Success — A good flirt knows how to make anyone around them feel good, and that’s a very powerful skill. Luckily, it is a skill that can be learned. This book shows you how.
  4. 101 Ways to Flirt: How to Get More Dates and Meet Your Mate — A quick read, with just 101 tips, each getting a paragraph or two. Nothing overly complex, but lots of hidden gems.

Special Situations for Flirting

  1. How to Flirt Online — Another great guide from AskMen.com that shows you how to meet girls without getting up from your desk.
  2. How to Start a Conversation With Someone on the Train, Bus or Subway — Have you ever wanted to talk to an attractive person on the bus or train but ended up waiting too long and letting him or her get away? Great advice on meeting people on public transport, and how to send the proper body language to the person you’re interested in.

Advanced Flirting Topics

  1. Meta-case study: Rabin’s guide to flirting — A complete and thorough research paper dedicated to the scientific analysis of the art of flirting. I kid you not…Read this and you’ll be a flirting phD.
  2. Psychology Today: Flirting Fascination and the Science of Flirting — A thorough review of several studies on flirting. A detailed and comprehensive look at the science of flirting.

{ 4 comments… add one }

  • Trish October 13, 2008, 2:08 pm

    Great post. Thanks for providing these useful links. Conversation skills is really helpful in flirting. A date can be a lot of fun even if you just sit in a corner and talk.

  • admin October 21, 2008, 7:55 am

    Thanks, Trish. I’m glad you liked it. Your Effortless Abundance site is awesome, BTW :)

  • Laurie from How to Make My Wife Happy October 27, 2008, 7:02 am

    A little flirting to your wife never hurt either! Keeps the marriage exciting and fun!

  • Mimi from Secrets of Flirting With Men February 3, 2009, 3:49 am

    Wow, thank you for that. This list is huge. I was already familiar with some of these resources, but most of them are completely new to me. I will definitely have to check them out as I like to think of myself as a little bit of an expert in the flirting game.

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